KKS 16
Text
題しらず
読人しらず
野辺ちかく いへゐしせれば うぐひすの なくなるこゑは あさなあさなきく
Translation
Topic unknown
Poet unknown
Near the fields / I live, and so / the voice of the cry (4) / of the warbler (3) / I hear morning after morning.
Notes
- いえゐしせれば
- This is 家居す. せれば is し (RY) + あれば contracted to せれば, indicating a continuous action. The し is the emphasis particle. The term 家居 may come from Chinese poetry, or from the MYS. The MYS characters are now read as いえをる, and a few alternate manuscripts read をれば for this poem as well.
- なくなる
- The なる here is the so-called 伝聞 suffix, indicating that the speaker hears the information or sound.
- あさなあさな
- There is some question whether this should be read literally as "every morning", or just generally as "every day", but the majority opinion is that it means the former. The line has eight beats, but this may have been pronounced あさなさな -- even if not, a good number of 字余り situations involve vowels that could have easily been elided in spoken recitation.
Analysis
Fujiwara no Toshiyori gave this as an example of a poem that was good but had こはき詞, which seems to mean rough or unskilled wording. This could be due to the いえゐしせれば line, or perhaps the あさなあさな at the end.
The poem received praise from Shohaku for its older style construction. This poem seems to be in the vein of older MYS style poetry, such as MYS 10:1829:
- 梓弓春山近く家居らば継ぎて聞くらむ鶯の声
- My house is near the summer mountains, and so I continuously hear the warbler's cry.
And MYS 10.1820:
- 梅の花咲ける岡辺に家居れば乏しくもあらず鶯の声
- My house is in the hills where plum blossoms bloom, and so I hear the profuse cry of warblers.
(Both cited by Keichu). But while the poem is similar to the MYS, it seems to represent a development from that style in several respects.
The skilled use of は in the last line is noted by several commentators. Since Mabuchi, commentators have read this as someone from the capital who is living in this rural home against his wishes. Nothing there is to his taste except for the voices of the poetically appropriate warblers, which recall his life in the capital. The use of あさなあさな at the end shows a boredom with the sound, or perhaps emphasizes that he is repeatedly reminded of the capital.
However, Masuda reads the poem simply as joy in hearing the warbler, without any implication that the poet does not want to be in his current circumstance. Kencho also had an entirely different reading of the は; that warblers do not normally cry at dawn, but since the poet is out in the fields he can hear them even in the morning. Finally, the Chokudenkai reads the は as expressing annoyance that the warbler is the only cultured thing he can hear out there.
Kaneko seemed to agree with Toshiyori's criticism of the wording, but he praises the deep feeling and the elegance.
Finally, Masuda notes that the use of the fields and the warblers provides a transition between the block of warbler poems and the upcoming poems dealing with picking young shoots in the field.